Bahrain. Hope I have one.

So tomorrow I have a brain scan and Tuesday, I'm having a sinus CT scan. I've been suffering (read: suffering) from shocking headaches over the last month and at one point, I thought I had had a seizure. I remember going to the toilet to throw up, which is odd, considering I can't throw up due to a surgery I had to have to stop me aspirating into my lungs. I did a projectile, which was around 10mls of water, then I woke up on the floor with a conk on my head, unable to move.

I spoke to the doctor about this when she performed a thorough neurological exam on me. I said, 'I thought I had a little seizure, but what it really was, was that I passed out'. Then she asked me how did I know if it wasn't a seizure. I didn't. I've since had a couple of wobbly incidents, like when I was walking on Saturday, I veered sharply to the right and I couldn't steer my body.

Aches in the head make me frustrated because I can't be as productive as I need or want to be with everything, and that means writing, reading, exercising, seeing friends and other people, particularly Dan who I so dearly miss. At least he always calls and comes to see me. He is wonderful.

On the 22nd, I'm off to see the Broken C**t doctors and I'm not expecting a good report. I may have to have more surgery or another course of chemotherapy cream, which is just great because it burns your skin and makes it peel and fall off and all that is left is red raw skin, much like a skinned animal carcass you see at your local butcher. Also, the possibility of having to go on an extended course of Oxycontin does not appeal to me in the slightest. It makes me itch, and while it can make me feel relaxed, it isn't the best pain killer. Often, it acts as a stimulant which makes me hyperactive, which leads to making stupid purchases like a cowhide rug. No, I did not buy a cowhide rug, but I wish I had have because I have a fetish for cowhide anything. I even have cowhide wedges. You get the picture. Times slows and if I'm going shopping for an hour, I'll often stay for three, unable to remember how long I'd been there because I'd be floating on a cloud of Hillbilly Heroin.

I could very well write a tome about the negatives of Oxycontin, but here are just a few words of advice. Never ever go on eBay or any other site where you can buy stuff. Even better, have a loved one hide your credit card. Or better still, freeze the bastard in an block of ice the size of a besser brick. Why? Because a few days later you'll get a bill and you won't be able to recall what you bought. Then a bowie knife will arrive in a postpak. Or something.